We have allotted $1000 a month to be used for an increase in house size for the guardian. Furthermore, the trust owns the children’s share of the home so that it can be borrowed against. The guardian has the option to buy the kids out 7 years after they have moved out or sell the house and give the trust its share of the home.

The kids have no idea how much money is coming to them but after expenses, all schooling, including college…. they will will get $50k each upon graduation, half of the remainder at 26 and the other half at 31….they do not know any of the above as we want to make sure they have their priorities in order before coming into a large amount of money.

Lastly, the guardian and back up guardian are fully on board with the entire trust, guardianship, and executor (whom is different than the guardian).

According to ssa.gov, the cost to raise a child is about $250K. We’re arranging our estate such that at least this amount per child is left in individual trusts for their care. For my stepson, who would be under his fathers care rather than new guardians, we are leaving a bit less with his being older and already shared guardianship. Term life insurance is a big part of the plan and unfortunately arranging the beneficiaries appropriately has been the most complicated part. Our goal has been to ensure that our guardians efforts toward our children are in parenting and not in managing the finance burden of child rearing.

I have been relying on books/information from Nolo publishing (Nolo.com) for initial planning and document creation. We will then be following up with an estate attorney. We have used this technique before very successfully with a number of legal documents. It saves money, educates about options and impacts of legal choices and to be blunt has been more effective than any number of attorney’s we have used directly in the past.

I look forward to sharing more information on this topic and was very happy to have found your blog.

Mike, if you can’t handle the 2 children you have, I’d suggest find a parenting class. We’ve taken different classes over the years by the Ezzos, see more at http://www.gfi.org
We are taking a weekly parenting class right now by Kevin Lehman called, Value-packed parenting. It is nice to get together with other parents & find out what worked or didn’t for them.

I don’t see the need for each child to have their own bedroom. Children can learn many different qualities by sharing a room. We have 6 children (oldest 16 and youngest 2 yrs old). We can not afford a home, that gives each of our children their own bedroom.

If my husband & I are not alive to care for our children, I would want the guardians to have some help in the home (if they felt they needed it)…ex. housekeeper. I’ve trained my children to help out in the home. They have learned some valuable ‘life skills’. Children need to help out (chores) I’m not running a hotel but a home.

If they need help I’d rather the $ go towards a housekeeper and the guardians do the work/interaction with the children (instead of a nanny).

What if one of the couples goes through a divorce? What if the guardian has a gambling problem I don’t know about? These are some of the factors that could lead to a complete disaster for your childrens’ future, even if you trust them. People change, situations change, but a check and balance with our written wishes will at least improve the chances of success.

I get a sense the few people that actually have a will outlining such matters (woefully inadequate based on the people we know), many of them haven’t considered such factors and don’t even know what they signed.

Definitely important stuff to think about – and get good advice from an experienced attorney you trust.

Finally, try to avoid having your money managed by an institution that’s going to suck the funds dry with fees. I’ve seen this before too.