I have a confession to make. For the past three years I have been blogging under the name Patrick, which is my middle name. My real name is Ryan Guina. Why am I sharing this? There are several reasons actually, but the main reason is transparency. I want daily readers and anyone else to know that there is a real person at the other side of this computer, not just a “guy named Patrick.” In the interest of transparency, I will share why I chose to use a pseudonym, why I am “outing” myself, what it means for readers, and my thoughts on being anonymous on the internet.

Why I chose to be anonymous

When I first started blogging I had little knowledge of internet communities. I used the internet for news, e-mail, and online banking. The idea of creating a website about personal finance and using my real identity made me think people would be able to find out more about my financial situation and possibly make me a target for identity theft. There were also several prominent personal finance bloggers who maintained anonymity when I started blogging, which made the decision easier (see Flexo, Nickel, FMF, AFM, MBH, and others). In the end, I decided to use my middle name because I thought it was more approachable than using initials, and it was easier for me to identify with.

Anonymity and blogging in the workplace. The deciding factor to use a pseudonym came when I read the paperwork I had recently signed at my (then) new job; it was a non-compete agreement that included provisions for company ownership/compensation for creating anything technology related while an employee for their firm. The fine print led me to believe that I would be fine as long as I didn’t use company equipment, but I didn’t want to take any chances. I was new to the corporate world after after a tour in the USAF and I didn’t want there to be any conflicts of interest or give them any reason to come after me. (note: I haven’t worked for that company for over two years and they have since been acquired by another company). If you are considering something similar, talk to your ethics department about any potential conflicts of interest.

Why I am now using my real name

As I mentioned at the beginning of the article, this is mostly about transparency. I want people to know that they aren’t receiving articles and correspondence from an anonymous writer. There are other reasons as well – including branding, correspondence, and business.

I have been building a “brand” under a single name, which doesn’t do me much good if a reporter wants to use my story or if a publication wants me to write for them. It is much better in the long run to build my online identity under the name Ryan Guina than it is to continue using my middle name.

Using my full name also makes it easier to deal with advertisers and other people I work with who need to know my real name for business reasons. Signing e-mails and receiving mail and checks under both names gets confusing and is less efficient than it needs to be.

What will change here at Cash Money Life

Nothing. Well, that’s not exactly true. In the name of transparency, I plan on sharing more specific information about how my wife and I manage our money, including some of the tools and resources we use to manage and track our money, which financial companies and accounts we trust with our money, how we manage our money, how I manage my small business finances, etc. The idea is to give you a “peak under the hood” at our personal finances. I won’t be sharing net worth information, because I don’t think that will help anyone improve his or her financial situation. But I will share tips that we use and the programs that help us do it.

Beyond additional transparency there shouldn’t be many other significant changes. I will continue writing a strong mix of personal finance, career and small business topics to help you improve your financial and career situation. Hopefully you will find it helpful to see how I do it, and in the process I hope readers will leave their tips. I know I have just as much to learn from you as I have to share with you.

Should you use your real name online?

Now to address this topic on a broad level. Using my middle name online when I started blogging made sense for me at the time. But I wish I had used my real name from day one. Using my full name would have been easier for correspondence and could have led to more personal and professional opportunities. This has been an important lesson for me. But what works for me may not work for you. There are dozens of examples of anonymous bloggers who decided to use their full name, others who were outed by someone with good investigative skills, and others who have chosen to remain anonymous. There are even some bloggers who have gone through multiple identities.

Pros and cons of blogging under a pseudonym. There are many reasons people prefer to remain anonymous. Sometimes it is to keep their day job (many people have been fired for blogging), other times it’s for privacy, and some people find that it opens more doors to them. Here is an example of the latter reason from a staff writer on CopyBlogger: Why James Chartrand Wears Women’s Underpants. And, no, it’s not what you are thinking.

On the flip side, some people find that using their real name opens doors to further opportunities. A great example of this is Kerry Taylor from SquawkFox, who received a book deal based on the quality of the writing on her blog. You can read her story here, and read more about her book.

Using your real name online is a personal decision

I know many people who are in a similar situation as myself, some of whom will ultimately use their real name, and others who will continue to be anonymous for the foreseeable future. I can only speak from my personal experience and reference a couple other people who wished they would have used their real name at the onset.

However, there is a strong reason to remain anonymous. People have been fired or lost relationships due to their online activities, including blogging, publicly speaking out against their company, sharing information that should have remained private, or other reasons.

In the end, how you choose to represent yourself can have far reaching implications. For me, I choose to represent myself by my full given name. I feel that this is the best decision for both now and in the future.

~$~

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One of the most difficult things for me to learn about running a business was when to back off and let things go. As any blogger or webmaster can tell you, watching traffic stats or other metrics can be addicting. You want to know how much traffic is coming to your website, where it is coming from, where it is going, etc.

The same thing can apply to your finances, business, career, or anything else which you are passionate about – especially when you are excited – such as when you are just beginning your journey or you reach a new milestone.

This is especially true about parenting. As the father of a newborn girl, I want to be there for every moment. I want to see her when she rolls over, sits up, crawls, speaks, walks, etc.

But then you realize your child is going to grow up regardless of what you do, and will even thrive if you just give her the space she needs to discover things on her own. So while that may mean less peaking in on her during nap time to make sure she is still breathing, it also means the new milestones come as a surprise, and thus, are more special.

A business, or your career, or your finances, or anything else dear to you is the same way. You need to pay attention and nurture it, but you don’t need to miss the forest for the trees. Instead of getting caught up in the minute to minute or hour to hour trends, take a step back and take a 30 thousand foot view.

What is the daily trend? Weekly? Monthly? Yearly?

Failure happens. It is natural to be disappointed when it takes longer to pay of your credit cards than you thought it would, or if you miss a promotion at work, or you fall short on any other goal. But failure is an opportunity to grow and learn, and sometimes that is more valuable in the long run.

Success and growth take time, and the goal is to see a positive trend as time goes by. That means making plans and following them, and making adjustments when major events dictate changes need to be made. And 99% of the time, slow and steady will win out.

So the next time you get impatient by a perceived lack of progress, take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Sometimes you are making more progress than you think you are. Sometimes you just need to let it breathe.

~$~

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This is a guest article from FFB, who writes about personal finance and related topics at Free From Broke.

You’ve heard of Stradivarius violins haven’t you? There are instruments that were built in the 1700’s and are considered some of the greatest sounding violins in existence. These violins have been known to sell for millions of dollars as their beauty is virtually unmatched!

Why do I mention this? Because life is like a Stradivarius violin!

As wonderful as they are, collectors and musicians must be extremely careful when using a Stradivarius. As a musician uses the violin the risk wearing down the instrument over time. Care must also be taken in handling and transporting the instrument. There is also risk of it getting stolen. Think about it – If someone told you your car was worth $20 million you would become the most careful driver in the world! You probably wouldn’t even take the car out for a drive. (Work with me here, if I had a $20 million car I’d be selling it ASAP!).

And therein lies a problem – Use the instrument and you risk damaging it or devaluing it. There are only so many out there and to lose any would be a shame. Once one is gone it’s gone!

But in locking i away the world misses out on it’s true beauty – it’s sound! An instrument is meant to be played not stored away. What’s the point of an instrument if it isn’t heard?

So what does a collector do? He has to balance it’s use. Keep it stored away and bring it out for special use so the listeners remember how beautiful it is.

And this is where our lives and finances come into play – Balance.

We only get so much money coming into our lives. If we use up our income it’s gone. You have to work to earn more. So we save. But if all we do is save then what’s the point of the money? We miss out on a lot if the money is socked away and we live a Spartan life. We need to live and should enjoy what our work produces.

So what to do? We have a similar situation as the violin collector. We need to strike a balance. We need to save money for the future so we have it when we need it. At the same time we should spend and enjoy life now.

How do we accomplish that?

• Always put away something for the future.
• Figure out what you truly love and use your money for that. Ask yourself when you spend if what you’re buying is worth the work time it takes to earn.
• Live but don’t waste. Strike a balance so you enjoy your life now but still put away enough to enjoy life later.

Just like a Stradivarius violin your life is beautiful and precious. You need to live but also balance your life and finances so you can enjoy life not just now but in your golden years as well!

~$~

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My wife and I had a wonderful surprise last week. Our baby girl decided she was ready to enter the world – 5 weeks early.  Baby Emma was just over 5lbs. She was born early, but the doctors and nurses gave her a clean bill of health. It has been an amazing experience to watch her grow and change over the last week. Time has passed so quickly!

Timing. The Friday before our daughter was born was my wife’s last day of work. We wanted to give my wife a month or more away from work to prepare for the transition to motherhood and becoming a stay at home mom. We spent that weekend cleaning the house and preparing for our girl. At the end of the weekend we asked ourselves what we still needed to do if our daughter came the next day. The only thing remaining on our list was packing the bags for the hospital and installing the car seat. We decided those could wait. It turns out you can pack an overnight bag in about 2 minutes when the baby is coming and an ambulance is on the way!

The labor experience. Late last Wednesday night my wife went into what she and the doctors thought was a false labor. They examined her and ran some labs, and decided she should go home and take it easy. 4 hours later my wife was in full blown labor. It happened so quickly that I needed to call an ambulance to pick her up for the 10 mile ride to the hospital. The guys from the fire department were the first responders and they were wonderful.

The same doctor was on call at the hospital. He took one look at my wife and said “you are going to deliver this baby tonight,” and Emma was born within the hour. We are still amazed at how quickly the labor went and how unexpected the timing was.

Babies are a lot of work. I know that is an understatement! To be honest, I have no idea where my time has gone. Over the last few days my wife and I have made a few trips to the hospital and clinic for checkups and made a couple trips to the grocery store and Babies R Us to pick up some last minute supplies. The rest of the time has been spent getting to know our daughter and trying to get caught up on sleep. Baby Emma has her days and nights mixed up and likes to play at night and sleep all day. Hopefully we can get her on a normal schedule in the near future.

A few random thoughts about being a new parent:

• I have an amazing amount of love, respect, and admiration for my wife.
• Having a baby is like falling in love all over again.
• I have a new found respect for my parents and grandparents.
• My life has been forever changed, and I love it.
• I understand how every new parent can state his/her child is the most beautiful and precious thing ever – and mean it.
• I can look at my baby girl all day and not notice time going by.
• My Mom says my daughter looks like me, my mother-in-law says she looks like my wife, and I don’t know who she looks like. But she is beautiful.
• We are thankful for our friends, family, and church members, who have been very supportive with phone calls, visits, and bringing meals.
• My baby girl has 423 nicknames already – the most commonly used are Baby Pants, Baby Goat (she makes a little goat sound), and Eagle Eye Emma (she often looks at us and the world around her with one eye open and one eye closed).
• The best recipe for a nap is a baseball game, a warm baby on your chest, and a recliner.
• I’m constantly singing made up songs to my baby girl. I even find myself humming the tunes when she is away from me or sleeping.
• I haven’t seen the hospital bill or ambulance bill, and right now I don’t care.
• The book Baby Bargains has been invaluable for product ratings and suggestions.
• I love our Boppy… and the Diaper Geenie.

This past week has been a whirlwind of emotions and new feelings, but it has been worth every moment. Thanks for all the kind e-mails and well wishes sent our way.

~$~

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Yesterday I wrote an article about outsourcing tasks for my small business and one of the commenters mentioned that the same principles can apply to your personal life. I agree 100%. I recently wrote an article about whether or not changing your own oil was worth the savings. My time is more valuable to me than the few dollars I would save by doing it myself.

Other commenters mentioned outsourcing yard work, car maintenance, home repair, taxes, or other tasks. Many of these tasks can be accomplished by the average person, so long as he is willing to invest a little time and energy into learning how to do the task. But sometimes the time it would take to learn a new task is more valuable than spending the money to hire someone who already has the skills. Or in the case of the story below, time can be more valuable than the cost to purchase a tool to make life easier.

The story of the riding lawnmower

My friend and I were talking at work the other day about his elderly neighbor who is moving into a town home where his yard work is part of the association fees. His neighbor offered to sell him his gently used riding lawnmower for a reasonable price. But my friend wasn’t sure if he really needed a riding lawnmower.

Our conversation went something like this:

Coworker: “I’m just not sure if I need a riding lawnmower. I’ve used a push mower for years, my mower is still in good condition, and the exercise is good for me.”

Me: “How long does it take you to mow your yard?”

Coworker: “About an hour and a half.”

Me: “And you mow your yard, what, every 3 or 4 days?”

Coworker: “Yeah. Sometimes more often in the spring.”

Me: “So from April to October you spend 3-plus hours per week pushing a mower… 12-plus hours per month, and 84-plus hours per season.”

Coworker: “Yeah, I guess so.”

Me: “You do realize that a riding lawnmower can give you back 2 full days of your life every year. Not two weekend afternoons, but two around-the-clock 24 hour days.”

Coworker: Silence.

The next day my coworker told me it took him half an hour to mow his lawn with his gently used riding lawnmower. And he had an extra hour to play outside with his children.

How Much is Your Time Worth?

~$~

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As I’ve mentioned several times on this site, my wife and I are expecting our first child. As we get closer to D-day, we are receiving more and more questions, comments, and unsolicited advice. I know that some people get tired of hearing it, but I don’t! Becoming a parent is one of life’s greatest gifts, and I welcome it. But I also know that it will change our lives in ways I haven’t even imagined yet, and these tips have been invaluable.

It isn’t possible  to be fully prepared for all the little changes that come with a new baby, but I have found the tips from friends and family, as well as the following articles, very helpful. It would probably take a book to share each tip my wife and I have received, which isn’t something I can do at the moment. But I found these articles helpful, and hopefully you will find the same. My wife and I would also love to read any first time parenting tips you have to share with us. Just leave a comment at the end of the article!

Preparing your finances for a new child

Babies are very expensive, especially when you consider that often times one parent stays at home – meaning income decreases, while expenses increase. This can be a recipe for disaster if you don’t plan for it. One of the most important things you can do before having a child is get your financial house in order. This includes buying life insurance, increasing savings, decreasing debt, having a financial fallback plan, and other financial preparations. Here are some articles that will help you prepare your finances for a new child:

• Preparing Financially for Your First Child.
• Preparing Financially for a Baby.
• My Friend Just Had A Baby; Now What?
• How to prepare for maternity leave.
• Maternity and Parental Leave in Canada.

Should you be a stay at home mom or working mom?

My wife and I decided she would become a stay at home mom. We are blessed to have this opportunity, and we know that our decision does not work for everyone. These articles may help your decision become a reality.

• Be a Stay at Home Mom or a Working Mom?
• Should I Stay Home or Go Back to Work?
• A Mother’s Struggle Between Work And Kids.
• What Is Raising A Child Worth – We’re Going To One Income.
• Five Steps To Be a Stay at Home Mom.
• 9 Tips For Going To One Income.
• Choosing a Baby Daycare Center – 10 Questions to Ask.
  

Newborn baby expenses

Babies are expensive! But they are worth it! These articles shed light on some of the associated costs of raising a newborn.

• How To Budget for a New Baby.
• Can you afford a baby?
• Baby Expenses series.
• 9 Ways To Save On Baby Costs.
• Babies Are Expensive! Total Cost of Having A Baby.
• 10 “Preparing For Baby” Tips For the Frugal-Minded.
• Baby Coupons, Free Samples, and Discounts.

What Should You buy for your newborn?

Companies that produce baby products want you to believe you need every item they produce, which is far from the truth! Don’t give in to the desire to give your children “the best of everything” when “everything” isn’t needed. Instead, go out and buy Baby Bargains, which is probably the best single resource for baby products. You’ll love it! My wife and I used that book and it helped us to avoid the temptation to spend money on unnecessary baby items. Here are some tips on what you should consider for your child:

• How to prepare a baby registry.
• 8 Things New Parents Don’t Need.
• 10 Ways New Parents Overspend On Their Newborns.
• Shopping for a Newborn I – The List.
• Shopping for a Newborn II – Summary and Tips.

College Savings Accounts

I know this isn’t a priority right away, but it never hurts to start thinking ahead – especially when you or your family members may wish to make contributions toward your child’s education.

• 529 College Savings Plans.
• Coverdell Educational Savings Accounts (ESAs).
• 529 savings plans and Coverdell Education Savings Accounts.
• Our Son Just Turned One, Starting College Tomorrow.
• 10 Questions About College Savings Plans.
• Upromise – Earn Free Money for College Education.

This is not an all encompassing list

My wife and I have received a lot of great tips from friends, family, and acquaintances and I’m sure I left out some great tips in this article.If you have anything to add, my wife and I would love to read it!

What are your tips for new parents?

photo credits: baby1, baby2

~$~

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On Saturday evening I was hanging out with some friends and we were talking about what we did earlier that day. My friend Tom mentioned that he and his wife walked about 5 miles through town, bought lunch at a local deli, then had a picnic by the river. After lunch they walked home through the town center.

While talking about his day, Tom commented to our friend Sheryl, a marathon runner, that “walking 5 miles once a week isn’t much compared to running marathons.”

Sheryl just laughed the comment off and mentioned that it doesn’t matter what she does, it matters what he does. That struck me as a wise statement. Not only does that relate to running/walking/exercising, but it relates to all matters of life, including personal finance.

You need to crawl before you walk

You can’t run a marathon if you haven’t trained for it. On a similar note, you can’t max out your 401(k) if you don’t have your finances in order, have a good income, pay off your debt, spend less than you earn, etc. It takes hard work and discipline to get your financial house in order and few people can do it right away. It takes even more work and dscipline to  become a millionaire.

Think long term

Most marathon runners and millionaires aren’t made overnight. They are made by hard work, discipline, and planning. I have a goal of being a millionaire one day, and I know that for me, the best way to plan for that goal is to plan the same way you would plan for a marathon – with patience and a long term outlook.

Photo: Sheffield Tiger.

~$~

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Hi folks! I’m Ryan’s wife, and I’ve been asked by my wonderful husband to write a post about the dizzying world of baby registries. Why? Because Ryan is smart enough to avoid things that make one dizzy. So in exchange for researching the baby registry, and I was bribed with a massage. (OK, maybe not that last one, but it wouldn’t hurt!)

How to make a baby registry

Research is key when planning a list of needs/wants for your baby. Baby products are a huge business, and sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between the necessary and more frivolous items. My mission was to determine what is necessary and to find quality products.

I read reviews of baby items from Babies R Us, Target, and Wal-Mart. I read online parenting and mommy forums. I also devoured the book, Baby Bargains. (Thank you, Mom, for giving this to me on my birthday! It’s been an enormous help!)

I quickly discarded the Babies’ R Us suggested registry list… Actually I laughed at it. Half the items are a waste of money, in my opinion. (But yes, it’s fun looking at the pictures of those beautifully coordinated nurseries!)

I concluded that what a baby needs is: a place to sleep, a means of transportation, food, hygiene, temperature control, a sense of security, and lots of love. I planned our baby registry list with these in mind.

For sleeping I listed a Play Yard, fitted sheets, and a protective mattress pad. That’s it! No crib. No coordinating wall boarders, lamps, and curtains. Nothing that shakes, rattles, rolls, or plays the 1812 Overture. Just your basic Pack ‘N Play to start with. We can put it right by our bed, take it downstairs, haul it to Grandma and Grandpa’s, and give this baby a comfortable place to sleep while saving loads of money and space in the house! When our baby gets a little older we will reevaluate her needs and buy a bed that fits her.

Next up: means of transportation. A car seat is non-negotiable. In fact, most hospitals won’t discharge you until you bring in the car seat and put baby in it! Hubby and I took a hands-on approach with this item. We spent an entire afternoon looking at car seats, travel system strollers, lightweight strollers, and stroller frames. We finally narrowed our choice down to an infant car seat and stroller frame. The cost ended up being less expensive, and the stroller frame was lighter… which makes lugging it around much easier for me! When baby is able to sit up, we’ll look into lightweight strollers.

Food: Here’s where we can save a substantial amount of money! The food will be free because I will be providing it from the confines of my body. (Apologies if this is as far as you can read.) I also listed a manual breast pump, several bottles, and milk storage bags for those days when attaching baby to the confines of my body just wouldn’t be convenient.

Bathing. If you’re still with me, hoorah! I applaud you. Let’s move on to the next necessary item: hygiene. We’ll need warm water, a gentle baby wash, a basic, no-frills, baby bathtub, soft washcloths, and a hooded towel. A baby brush would be good too, especially for styling that baby curl coif.

Hey, did you know there are baby bathtubs – excuse me – SPAs on the market? It’s true. These tiny tubs have jets and shower heads and probably aromatherapy and mood lighting. Shoot! I’m putting one on the registry just for myself!

Diapers, etc. We’ll also need diapers, diaper wipes, a pad on which to change baby, a diaper pail, and perhaps some A&D ointment. We’re considering cloth diapers, but that’s another post altogether…

Temperature control – How do we keep baby at an ideal temperature? Clothing, blankets, and the thermostat. I listed Onesies (actually, the technical term is “bodysuits”), sleepers, receiving blankets, a couple of hats, a few cotton t-shirts, and baby booties for the hands to prevent baby from scratching off her face! (Baby mittens just fall off the moment you put them on.)

We’ve already received several baby outfits as gifts, and I imagine we will continue to receive more. So, I think we’ll have this area covered. If we need more, I know of a great consignment shop close to home that has good quality baby clothes in all shapes, sizes, and colors.

Security and love. OK, so you can’t really buy the last items, sense of security and love. Hubby and I have to provide these by being attentive, patient, and loving parents who hold, cuddle, talk to, and care for our baby. Is this not the most important?

So that’s our baby registry! Well, not quite… some other items I listed were: thermometer, baby monitor, bouncer, sturdy diaper bag, Boppy, and a baby wrap (I hear those Moby wraps are fantastic!).

And now that’s it. I bet you can think of other items to add to my list… maybe even items you would delete, but this is what works for us. Sure, there are other items we will need in the future, but I figure we can always add to our baby stuff as we learn and grow as parents. It’s all a learning experience.

My brain is burning from all this thinking. I believe it’s time for my massage now!

Ryan says: Thanks for writing this article, Love!

For those of you keeping track at home, here is a rough outline of what our baby registry looks like. You may find that your situation calls for additional or fewer items; we prefer to start small and add as we go. We linked to some of the items we chose on our registry, mostly based on recommendations from Baby Bargains and personal preference.

• Baby Bargains (not actually on the registry, but this helped us better understand our needs and is full of great reviews and important information. I HIGHLY recommend this book!).
• Pack ‘N Play and accessories (fitted sheets, mattress pad).
• Infant car seat (we will need to get a larger car seat when the baby outgrows this one).
• Stroller frame (we will get another stroller when our baby outgrows the infant car seat).
• Manual breast pump, baby bottles, and milk storage bags.
• Baby bathtub, soft washcloths, and a hooded towel.
• Diapers, diaper wipes, changing pad, diaper pail, ointment, etc.
• Clothing – Onesies, sleepers, receiving blankets, hats, cotton t-shirts, and baby booties
• Blankets, burping rags.
• Thermometer.
• Baby monitors.
• Bouncer
• Diaper bags (2 – one large to cover most situations, one small for convenience. Both unisex in appearance).
• Boppy
• Baby wrap or carrier (We like Moby wraps or an Ergo baby carrier).

Do you have anything to add to our list?

~$~

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