Comments on: How to Decide Whether to Be a Stay at Home Mom or Working Mom

By: Rita

Rita — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 20:20:48 +0000

I have to say that I agree with Nathan. I have recently chosen to be a stay-at-home mom and I have to say it is one of best decisions I ever made. It seems that today’s parents are forgoing spending quality time raising their children to receive a paycheck to support a more luxurious lifestyle to keep up with the Jonses. I have even heard of parents letting their kids stay at daycare longer so they can have time to theirselves because they are so tired after work. I mean, why have children if all they’re going to be is an accessory? I guess their logic is: Babysitter=Able to Work=Lexus/$$$Clothes because they deserve it because of all their hard work. The real question is, what does the child get? Definitely NOT the hours of quality care and attention they need.

By: Brittany

Brittany — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 17:25:35 +0000

I also beleive that, if at all possilble, staying at home is the best option for both parents and kids. I worked when my daughter was younger, and I always felt something nagging me, tellling me that this wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing. After my son was born, we made the decision to say goodbye to a lot of things (financially) and give our kids what they needed most, time and love. It has been hard at times, and we may not have all the luxuries that some of our friends do, but our chilldren never go without and have everything they need. I do work 1 afternoon a week outside the home, and I do some odds and ends here and there (crafts, laundry, etc) to bring in extra income, which is helpful. I probobly wouldn’t remember all the fancy things I bought them if I worked while they were in daycare, but I would remember the time I lost while they were spending there first 5 years away from me. In the end it is certainly a personal decision everyone must make, and staying at home may not work for everyone, but it is definately the best decision my husband and I have ever made, and I’m thankful to have the opportunity!

By: Kristen

Kristen — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 13:49:23 +0000

Wow, Nathan. A little self-righteous, aren’t we? First, of all, “women” should do it? What about the men? They’re parents too. Maybe they should stay home to have such “fulfilling” lives raising their children.

Furthermore, what an assumption to make that women who work feel entitled or somehow drive expensive cars and have a lot of things. And then to continue on that if you work you’re sending the message to your children that they’re expendable. Do you stay home with your children?

By: Nathan

Nathan — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 04:20:08 +0000

AMEN!

By: Nathan

Nathan — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 04:18:10 +0000

If staying home is an option…women should do it! The problem I see with this whole conversation is that no one is naming the elephant in the room. Today’s Moms/Dads have a totally different level of entitlement in their lives than their parents did…they want everything NOW. How many working Moms out there drive 30+k cars along with their husband…meanwhile the kids are in someone else’s care being sent the message that they are expendable…for the “good of the family.” What a bunch of bonk! Live within your means, stay at home if you can and raise your own kids! Your life will be much more fulfilling…it might not be luxurious but it will be quality indeed.

By: Liz

Liz — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 14:29:06 +0000

First, I agree with all who believe that to stay at home or not, is first and foremost a personal decision. Unfortunately, for many of us parents, the financial situation we are in usually dictates whether or not we can afford to stay at home if that is your choice. I have a 2 yr old son, and before I became pregnant, I always thought I would like to continue working, and unfortunately, my husband and I didn’t plan for anything else. After my son was born, I had a huge wake up call and could not bear the thought of leaving him with someone else. We had no choice, however, as our expenses need the two incomes we provide. While we were lucky to have my mother/father sit for him the first year, and have a great daycare (albeit differences in teaching and ‘parenting’ do exist) that he enjoys very much, everyday leaving him with another provider has been a real struggle for us. We have been working to try and get ourselves to the point where I could stay at home, however, I am very afraid that we may not be able to do this before he goes to school and we will have lost many precious years together. Given this, I would strongly suggest to all who are pregnant or thinking of having a family to try and give yourselves an option and once that baby comes, you will have the freedom of choice to stay at home or not.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 03:34:55 +0000

I would have to agree with Jenn on this one. I am a full-time working mother of four children ranging in age from 12-5 yrs old. I have been on both sides of the spectrum… I was a stay at home mom for most of the time (except seasonal or part time employment) up until about 3 years ago. I question my decision to work on a daily basis. Financially, it has been a huge help for me and my husband. However, I truly miss my kids. I work 9-5. My children leave for school at 8, then I leave for work. I get home at 530 or 6, make dinner, put them to bed by 9. Its stressful for all of us. I miss going on school field trips, taking cupcakes for their b-days, having my house clean all the time, having a nice meal prepared nightly (instead of just throwing something together quickly as soon as I walk in the door). However, when I didn’t work, we were really struggling and unable to provide more than the bare minimum for our kids. That was no fun either.

By: Vikki

Vikki — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 01:36:09 +0000

First, thank you to all of the working mothers out there. Working moms who put their heart and soul into their kids after all day at work amaze me.

Thank you also to everyone who mentioned their desire and need to spend more time with their children. Being young, I feel so much outside pressure to continue with my career, to reach my potential, and too often I feel that many do not consider motherhood as a way to be successful. Being a mom in any context is important, but judgment on a personal decision on how to take care of the people you love the most is hurtful and nonsensical. Who could think that they could have more carefully or correctly analyzed your family’s situation then you, who cares more for them than anyone else?

God bless anyone who understands that ALL mothers love their children.