My wife and I are expecting our first child, which means we have a thousand and one things to do before our little one arrives. One of the things we can check off the list is deciding whether or not my wife would continue working after we have our child or if she would be a stay at home mom. I’ll save the suspense – we have decided it is in our best interest for my wife to be a stay at home mom and raise our child at home.
The decision for us was fairly easy – we had been preparing for it since we got married 2½ years ago. Shortly after our wedding we began preparing to have one parent stay at home. We paid off all our debt and started living on less income than we earned. Shortly after paying off all our debt, my wife took a job that paid less, but offered a better quality of living. We decided at that time to live on my salary and split her salary between saving for retirement and building a nest egg.
But the decision isn’t always an easy decision for everyone to make, and there are many factors that come into play. Here are a few things to consider:
Should you be a stay at home mom, or a working mom?
Can you afford it? This is the first and most obvious factor many people consider. Giving up a salary is hard to do, especially in a difficult economy. But you might not be giving up as much money as you would think. After you take into consideration the costs of daycare (anywhere from $4,000 – $15,000 per year), taxes, commuting, professional wardrobe, eating out, and other work related expenses, your take home pay may be less than a third of your actual salary. If you can afford to give up that amount of income, you may decide it is not worth the headache of juggling the stresses of work and raising a family.
Do you want someone else raising your children? This was the deciding factor for us. My wife and I prefer to raise our children instead of shipping them off to day care for the first few years of life (we do not have any family close enough to help out). Your situation may differ if you have a relative who can watch over your children while you work either full or part time. But we want to cherish the time we have when they are young.
Will being a stay at home mom hurt your career? This is an important question to ask. Taking a several year hiatus from the work force can set your career back if/when you decide to return to the work force. But that doesn’t mean you can’t remain active and work on your skills while you are a stay at home mom. You can work as a freelance writer, remain active in professional organizations, obtain professional licenses or certifications, teach online courses, teach evenings at a local community college or university, go back to school, start a small business, etc. There are many other proactive things you can do to lessen the affect of being out of the traditional work force for several years. You may even decide to use this as the launching point for a new career.
Should you stay at home, or return to work?
You will probably get an opinion on this from just about everyone, but this is a decision that should be made by you and your spouse. For my wife and I, the decision was easy. But I know it is a difficult decision for many people.
I would love to hear your thoughts on being a stay at home mom, or returning to the work force after having children.
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I have to call in less than ten minutes! See my husband is a police officer and we are living paycheck to paycheck right now. But between the sub pay and the gas money, and the money I will spend on getting my room ready, also 3 days a week child care, my mother in law would help two days (if I help her out with the grocery bill)–I just dont know if I can really afford to work! Thanks for all your help. Will let you know what I decide.
I have to call in less than ten minutes! See my husband is a police officer and we are living paycheck to paycheck right now. But between the sub pay and the gas money, and the money I will spend on getting my room ready, also 3 days a week child care, my mother in law would help two days (if I help her out with the grocery bill)–I just dont know if I can really afford to work! Thanks for all your help. Will let you know what I decide.
i feel that moms should work and let the children go to day care!
My fiance and I have talked extensively about this topic. We finally came to the decision that, when we have children, I’ll stay at home and raise them, as well as homeschool them (for K-8 years, and then private school for high school). I plan to go for a masters through an online program or start my own home business (or write a book) while at home. With a masters and continued community involvement, it will help me to stay career viable in the event of a family crisis (medical bills for children/spouse/self, layoff, house burns down, etc).
Staying home is a personal choice. I never felt comfortable doing so because I loved working. I have four kids and a supportive husband who worked from home for 4 years while owning his own business. Also, the reason staying home didnt’ work for me was when my husband got laid off from his job, we were happy that I had a viable income such that the total financial burden of the home didn’t rely completely on him. Also, we perferred to send our kids to school by the age of 3 yrs. Also, we did the alternate work schedule for a time when he first started his at home business. After our youngest turned 3yrs, my husband was more than happy to work outside of the home and sell his business. Staying home is a matter of choice. I personally would have been unhappy doing so.
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